By Lisa Spodak ([email protected])
Provided by WorldNow

I said something to my friends this week that I hadn’t really consciously acknowledged until the words were out of my mouth – I’m embarrassed to go back to the gym.

One of my friends pointed out that when I first started to lose weight, I was much heavier than I am now.  And that’s true.  But, even though I’m 50 pounds lighter now, it feels different because I’m also 50 pounds heavier than I was a year ago.  And as much as I keep clinging to the positive side of keeping off 50 pounds, I also feel like a bit of a failure.

It’s been about five months since I stopped going to the gym regularly.  I hurt my ankle and knee in April during one of my breast cancer walks and just never got back in the groove afterwards.  The first thing I dropped was my Urban Rebounding trampoline classes, since I was worried that the bouncing would aggravate my injuries.  And since I was doing all sorts of training walks, I ditched my sessions on the treadmill.  After that,  my participation in other classes just faded away.

Then, a few weeks ago, I realized just how long it had been.

I’ve started working out with my personal trainer again, and while it’s a little discouraging that things are more difficult than they were six months ago, it’s also felt good.  But the big thing is that I know I need to start going on my own and picking up classes again.  I need to feel comfortable and motivated at the gym, but it’s been so difficult to take the first step when I don’t have an appointment to keep.

I was actually a little relieved after talking to my friends because one of them was having similar feelings to mine.  He had also “fallen off the bandwagon” and was embarrassed about going back to the gym.  But, last week, he did it.  And he said it was great.  The instructor was supportive, the familiar faces in the class were just as friendly, and it felt good to bounce and sweat again.

I’ve got Saturday’s Rebounding class marked (in pen!) in my calendar and I expect to report next week that I went and it was great!