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What really happens on the wedding night

in partnership with theknot.com 

Real brides share their wedding night stories (and they’re not what you think).

Just me and my TV
“We had an evening garden wedding that happened to fall on the day of a 75-year record high . . . a whopping 106 degrees. We were exhausted and soaked when we finally got back to the honeymoon suite. I went to the bathroom to peel myself out of the drenched wedding dress, take a shower, and change. I finally walk out — perfect hair, stellar makeup, and some sexy lingerie — only to find my husband sprawled out on the bed, passed out, and snoring. Bravo TV and I spent one salacious evening together.”

Flooded with emotion
“The hotel we stayed in had a huge, two-person shower, and we jumped in it immediately after the reception. We started to fool around until my husband began to look extremely freaked out. Apparently, my fake eyelashes were falling off, and he had no clue that I had been wearing them. One strip was on my cheek, and the other was hanging off my eye. Let’s just say, it kind of killed the mood. We then got out of the shower to find the entire bathroom flooded. My dress was soaked, and everything that had been on the floor was in a pool of water, including the only pajamas and underwear that we’d brought. We spent the next 20 minutes cleaning up, and by the time we were done, all we wanted to do was sleep.”

A rather hairy situation
“I’d gotten so tipsy at my wedding that when we got home, my new husband had to help me open the back of my dress. In the middle of him unhooking the thing, I looked at him, smiled, reached up, and pulled out a pile of ‘hair’ and handed it to him. I then proceeded to wander into the living room and pass out on the sofa. He had no idea the hair was my extensions and was completely freaked out.” 

Blinged-out lovin’
“When you open a bunch of glittery congratulatory wedding cards while sitting in bed, you often end up with glitter in unusual places after other, well, shall we say, ‘more aerobic’ activities.”  

Officially an old married couple
“During the reception, our guests actually shooed us into the elevator and told us to ‘get at it.’ We hadn’t had time to eat at the reception and were STARVING, so instead we went upstairs to our room, grabbed a bite, mussed our hair, and watched an episode of MythBusters on TV. A half hour later, we were greeted downstairs to a standing ovation.” 

An awkward entrance
“At the end of the night, my husband and I climbed into our sweet ride (a ’91 Honda Accord) and drove back to the hotel. We parked by the side entrance, near one of the conference rooms, and went in. Unfortunately, we accidently walked through the annual gathering for the Bereaved Parents of the USA, an organization for parents, grandparents, and siblings who’ve recently lost loved ones, all while wearing our wedding gear. Kind of a mood killer.”

Don your wedding duds for a “suite” night
“We won a free wedding night hotel stay at a bridal show and were really excited about it because we had originally planned to sleep at home that night. After the reception, we drove to the hotel, but unfortunately, it was the wrong one. I was in my wedding dress and he was in his tuxedo, and we felt really silly. Luckily, the manager was great and gave us a free night’s stay in one of the nicest suites.” 

Momma said lock you out
“After the reception, I felt like I was getting a cold, so we decided to go upstairs and call it a night. I immediately passed out, while my husband decided to go back downstairs and get a bite to eat. Unfortunately, he forgot his room key. I was so dead-to-the-world asleep that I never heard him banging on the door or trying to call our room. To top it all off, I completely forgot to give the hotel his name when I made the reservation. It took over an hour of coaxing for the poor guy at the front desk to finally let him into our room.”  

© 2011 The Knot Inc. All rights reserved.

– Anne Roderique-Jones

 

 


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