Top Moments: The Vampire Diaries' Shocking Death and Jack's Explosive 24 Return
Our top moments of the week:
14. Best Do-Over: When Chief Boden learns he’s going to be a dad on Chicago Fire, he tries to do right by ex-girlfriend Donna, but his ultra-practical and unromantic proposal leaves her feeling cold, and she refuses. Once Boden wises up, he shows up at the school where Donna teaches in full uniform, gets down on one knee and pops the question with a beautiful family ring. This time, she says yes, and Boden sweeps her off her feet and kisses her. Now that’s a proposal!
13. Worst Family Reunion: On Game of Thrones, half brothers Bran Stark and Jon Snow are on the verge of giving fans the Stark family reunion we all crave when — seven hells! — duty calls. While Jon is distracted by impaling Night’s Watch mutineers, Bran is left to fend off an abductor by warging into Hodor. But once the smoke clears, the young, crippled heir to Winterfell realizes that if his older brother sees him, Bran will be coddled and never fulfill his destiny with the three-eyed crow. He leaves without even saying hi. That damn three-eyed crow ruins everything.
12. Best Wordplay: We never cease to be impressed by how Hannibal turns even the darkest moment into a comical amuse-bouche. After catching Freddie Lounds trespassing on his property, Will brings over some “longpig” to share with Hannibal. Our favorite cannibal immediately suspects the true origin of the meal, instructing the newly minted murderer to “slice the ginger.” Oh, Hannibal! If your food really is as good as your puns, we might consider you having us (over) for dinner.
11. Best Crossover: In its fourth week, Fargo finally passes through the land of mere homages and lands smack dab in the middle of the same universe as the 1996 film of the same name. In a triumphant moment, we see exactly how Stavros Milos funded his supermarket empire: He found the blood money that one of the film’s villains had secreted in the snow. Aw jeez, can we expect Margie to stroll up next week?
10. Best Timing: Bates Motel‘s second season reaches its climax as Norman is forced to take a polygraph about Blair Watson’s murder. Although Norman (and the audience) is fully aware that he sliced his former teacher’s throat during one of his blackouts, when the test administrator asks Norman about his involvement, Norman’s alternate personality — appearing in the form of his mother Norma — appears and convinces Norman that she committed the murder. With his brain convinced of his own innocence, Norman is able to lie and pass the polygraph with flying colors. Oh, “Mother”!
9. Best Make-Up: In The Mindy Project‘s madcap homage to rom coms, Danny discovers that Mindy is willing to give him a second chance at romance and will meet him at the top of the Empire State Building. He dashes off to meet her (to the tune of Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark,” natch) but when he arrives, she’s nowhere to be found. Following the sounds of loud panting, he finds Mindy collapsed on the ground after having climbed hundreds of flights of stairs. Danny is appropriately touched because nothing says love like working your quads for a man.
8. Best Burn: Another week, another Maks dust-up on Dancing with the Stars. After controversial, foul-mouthed guest judge Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms, critiques Meryl Davis’ “sickled feet,” Maks snips in the skybox, “I really don’t care for anything she has to say.” Ouch! But for once, he’s got some backup: Derek executes a flawless sarcastic slow clap after Maks’ diss that makes it very clear he agrees. Steve McQueen would be proud.
7. Best Closure: After six long seasons of threats, red herrings and near-fatal showdowns, Castle‘s Kate Beckett finally closes her mother’s murder case. When Beckett’s best efforts to link Sen. Bracken to New York drug kingpin Vulcan Simmons backfire, Bracken makes plans to silence Beckett once and for all. But after she escapes Bracken’s goons and remembers a years-old conversation (hi again, Capt. Montgomery!), Beckett finds a micro-cassette on which Bracken admits to his dirty deeds, including Johanna Beckett’s murder. “It’s over,” Beckett says before slapping the cuffs on the presidential hopeful and leading him away (hopefully) for good. Now, bring on the wedding!
6. Worst Shootout: Provoked by the actual unsub on Criminal Minds, Preacher Mills (guest star Bret Cullen) opens fire from inside a diner on the BAU and FBI that have descended upon the building. Despite being way outnumbered, he shoots Reid right in the neck (!) and later Morgan in the chest when he enters the diner. And then we get those three dreaded words: To be continued.
5. Best Surprise: It’s been a roller coaster season on Law & Order: SVU, but the drama still manages to shock viewers on Wednesday’s episode when we drop in on Rollins home watching TV. At first, it just seems like the scene is noteworthy because a suspected child molester is being interviewed, but then when Rollins calls out, “You gotta come see this,” suddenly Amaro emerges from her bathroom in nothing but a towel. Eat your heart out, Benson/Stabler fans!
4. Best Engagement: When Penny gets fired from her movie Serial Apeist on The Big Bang Theory, she realizes that she needs to make smarter life decisions and therefore decides to marry Leonard for real this time. But Leonard doesn’t want to be a “boring smart decision” like a bran muffin and thinks she’s overreacting to her firing. He asks what she really wants. “You, you stupid Pop Tart!” Penny exclaims. “Then I guess I’m in,” he casually replies before noting that it feels anti-climactic. “This might help,” he says, whipping out a ring to formally pop the question. “Oh my God! Yes!” Penny says. You know what they say: Sixth time’s the charm!
3. Best $#*!-Talker: When you have two Oscar-winning A-list actresses on your show, the only right thing to do is have then engage in a Celebrity Curse-Off. That’s precisely what Jimmy Kimmel does with Steel Magnolia co-stars Sally Field and Julia Roberts on Live. Shockingly, while Roberts can only offer up “butthole” and the like, Field goes all in like a sailor on leave, getting very creative with suffixes on certain four-letter words. “Why am I in a curse-off with The Flying Nun? How does this happen?!” Roberts exclaims. Mama always said, “Life is like a box of $%^#*@!”
2. Best Return: After four long years, Jack is back on 24: Live Another Day and more bada– than ever. The now-fugitive allows himself to be caught by the CIA, which is their mistake. After taking out his guards and rescuing Chloe from her torture chamber, Jack, with the help of an outside man and a microchip in his hand, literally blows the roof off the holding area and then makes it out in time to save the president from being killed. Dammit, we’ve missed you, Jack Bauer!
1. Most Heartwrenching Death: Someone better figure out how to save the Other Side on Vampire Diaries quickly! On the penultimate episode, Julien, a Traveler passengered in Tyler, rips Stefan’s heart right out of his chest — a sure fire way to truly kill a vampire. In the episode’s final moments, Caroline stands screaming over his lifeless body as Stefan passes through Bonnie, which signifies his death. But they won’t really kill Stefan … right?
What were your top moments?